Having my first kid was a giant slap in the face. It was a big huge adjustment going from 0 to 1. I literally took my last final the day before I had Will, so I hadn't spent a ton of time during the pregnancy preparing myself mentally for all the stuff that would come after he was born.
SLEEP
The lost sleep...how hard it is to force yourself to get up every two hours at night and not being able to go to sleep until your new baby finally does. You have all these plans for making sure your kid is a good sleeper, until you realize that absolutely no amount of swaddling, gas drops, feeding, burping, thumping, patting, or rocking will get this baby to sleep because he just has to POOP and can't. My second child sounded like a mix between a squeaky door and a pig for a good solid four hours last night just trying to get his stuff organized in his belly.
NURSING
The concept of breastfeeding...and what a PAIN it is for me. Breastfeeding is not one of those things that has ever come easy for me and maybe never will. My babies do not seem to ever really get the whole concept. And how annoying is it that you go to those breastfeeding classes before you have the baby and the La Leche Ladies are like, "You are an evil mom if you don't breastfeed your baby until he/she is at LEAST ten years old!!" and "Any problem that you may have with breastfeeding can be overcome!" Maybe that last one is kind of true, but they forgot to leave the last part of that sentence on "...as long as you are okay with crying and being incredibly frustrated and stressed all day long, having your breasts hurt more than you ever thought possible, and constantly feeling like you are a bad mom because your kid can't seem to breastfeed!" At least this time around I will feel like I have exhausted all my resources before giving up.
POST-BABY BODY IMAGE
This has not been a hard one for me this time around, since I knew what to expect, and actually am doing way better weight-wise than I was after Will was born. Maybe that has to do with the fact that I was more physically fit before I got pregnant, or that I didn't have a C section, or that I am feeding exclusively with breastmilk. Either way, it's really nice that I know what to expect from my body. For some reason, I thought my body would bounce right back to normal after I birthed William. Since I carry my babies so much in the belly, I was oblivious to the secret little pounds that were hiding in my love handles, hips, and thighs. And the delightful little deflated balloon that was now my belly, all wrinkly from stretch marks and completely saggy from my sad excuse for abdominal muscles. It could have been worse than normal from having a C section, but I didn't know anything different.
So I guess I'm ahead this time, since only two of these three things are a huge issue for me. And it's nice that I'm living in my own house instead of at the in-laws. And since I've already been a mom for the last two years I did not have to do very much adjusting to the new at-home lifestyle. But still, Aaron is drowning in schoolwork and I have an exhausting two-year-old this time around. So...I don't know which time is harder.
6 comments:
The self-righteous attitude of the LLL (aka Nursing Nazis) is very irritating to me, despite the fact that I am pretty adamant about nursing my own kids. All that stuff about it not hurting, not being difficult at all ("if it is, well, you must be doing something horribly wrong!") is a gigantic mass of hooey. I'm glad I stuck with it and figured out how to get through it, but I won't miss it much when those days are over for good.
#2 is much harder! Having to divide your attention is the most difficult. Nursing was/is tough for me too. I laughed about your baby organizing his belly, mine did the same thing - grunting like crazy for hours at night.
having a baby is hard. it just is. i don't think it gets easier. cole really threw me for a loop, so i can relate. and the more kids you have, the harder it is because you can't just focus on the baby. so i feel for you- hang in there!
lol, I have a nazi LLL friend and she totally made me feel guilty when I stopped with Dylon. I didn't say anything to her this time, she doesn't need to know. Do you want me to pick Will up next Wednesday when we do the get together? I tried calling you this week, but you were probably sleeping or avoiding the phone as I would totally understand.
I think it totally depends on the baby. For me, the odd numbered children were the hardest (first, third, etc.) usually because of their fussiness. However, this is not to say that the second, fourth, etc. were a walk in the park. The hardest part with the second was not being able to sleep unless both children were asleep which NEVER seemed to happen during the day.
I had a hard transition to two kids, and Emma was really quite wonderful compared to other kids her age. There was just so much to try and do and focus on, and I was so weak and hormonal that it all got really overwhelming really fast. That lasted about a month for me, and then things just started to click, and my hormones started to even out. It never got easy- it just got more routine. I think things are easier to handle when they feel normal. Finding that normalcy is the rough part. Hang in there- you are an awesome mom!
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