Today's Portion of "Things That Bug Heidi" is brought to you by Mazda: Zoom-Zoom.
I have noticed that I have been accumulating a small lexicon of certain types of people who bug me when I'm driving and the things they do. Namely...
1. The Phantom Braker: This is the guy who is so worried about either speeding or hitting small animals who have a microscopic chance of darting out into the middle of the road that he feels it is absolutely necessary to keep his foot glue to the brake. Drive...brake. Drive...brake. Why are you braking? There is NO REASON TO BRAKE PEOPLE. So just gas it up and enjoy the ride.
2. Cautious Carl: This fool is so worried about what could possibly happen when he braves the world of scary fast cars that he waits until there isn't a car speck on the horizon before he decides to turn left.
3. Mr. No-Signal: One of my all-time annoyances. People who don't signal drive me crazy! I really think I could have saved at least five minutes of my life if people would signal. Nothing is worse than waiting and waiting for a car to pass so you can turn only to find that he himself is turning first!
4. Losing Your Fast Lane Privileges: Ok, I stole this from Kent. But basically, this is when someone wants to pass you in the fast lane so you kind and generously move out of the way only to find that no, this guy just likes riding your bumper as a speed cushion and won't actually pass you. You end up having to get back in the fast lane in front of this jerk when you inevitably come up behind a semi.
5. Large Vehicles Who Think They're Fast (admittedly not the most clever name): This was a newer irritation that I discovered on our last trip to Arizona. There we were, on a two-lane highway, stuck going 40 mph because this stupid bus wouldn't let anyone pass him. When we reached a passing lane, he would stay in the passing side because he thought "I don't care what they think, I'm fast!" when he was probably .02 mph faster than the semi he was trying to pass. Groan.
And in general, people driving to Salt Lake and back really don't seem to know the rules of the fast lane. Word to the Wise: On that stretch, the slow lane is like this un-used hidden treasure lane that can be utilized as the fast lane.
That's all for now folks, but please feel free to write in about any additional things that bug you when driving! Tune in next time for our discussion on how I hate it when our toilet won't flush everything on the first five tries!
9 comments:
You STOLE MY IDEA FOR A BLOG!! I was going to do one of those, although, admittedly, it wasn't going to be for a while. But all of your pet peeves pretty much match man. I was reading it, saying the whole time, "I know, right?!?!"<--this is Mel's favorite phrase.
*match mine, not man. I hate how I can't edit comments unless I post it under my identity, but then I can't have a cool name.
One wonderful thing about driving in Europe: when you want to pass somebody, they let you. When somebody wants to pass, you let them. Everybody's happy. I still hate almost being hit by a car, however.
Heidi...High-5 on the awesome post. I don't even laugh that hard at Kent's blog entries. And yes, "I know, right?!?!" is a favorite phrase, but it fits so many situations.
For someone who wakes up at 6:42 to be at work at 7 and it's a 12-minute drive (leaving 4 min. of yawning & rubbing eyes--1 frantic minute of putting in contacts, putting on business-clothes over 'pajamas', grabbing a bite and flexing in front of the mirror), and being someone with 11 tickets and thinks and philosophizes about driving way more than the time you've even spent in the car, me thinks this is not a list that you can simply jot down carelessly in a blog. I want a textbook, and to teach a full 5-credit class (and I would require everyone to show up on time--but also require that they leave from off-campus no earlier than 10 min from before class starts) on this extremely important subject. Oh yes, and I am that guy that doesn't use his turn-signal. Why? So that you won't turn in front of me, and I won't have to wait behind you because I guarantee you will be driving embarrassingly slow and too much like the other 4 qualities you listed.
Oh Kurtis-woo...I am all too familiar with your particular brand of driving and philosophies associated thereof. I am thinking back to the days involving your job at PGM, our sharing of one GEO metro, and 12th North.
16th north.
Things that bug me (in addition to most of Heidi's ideas):
1. That zoom zoom commercial.
2. "Everyone in Houston": People that cut me off.
3. "Nervous Nellie": People who aren't aggressive turning right on red.
4. "Fat Albert": People on a two-lane road who aren't turning right but still want to block the right hand land so people that do want to turn right can't.
5. "Yellow Fever": People who equate "Yellow" with stopping. "Yellow" should mean "gun it" to get through the intersection.
"Whitewater Wilson" - I was driving back from a long day of work in Baltimore the other day (about 50 miles from my home, so normally about an hour's drive), unfortunately there was a slight mist falling from the heavens, so people instinctively cut their speeds in half, to remedy the new dangerous conditions. I don't even have anti-lock brakes and I can handle going the speed limit if not more.
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